I have been toying with the idea that it is time to turn the page in my own book so to speak. Wondering if it was out of fear or excited about what it might be. A waning creative drive helped make the decision. No, last year was not a "great" year for me but it was my year and I have to own it. No amount of talking or tears will help me see something I need to do any clearer.
The definition of me is first and foremost a mom. I have three wonderful children that don't need any more hand holding. As they have grown older my definition hasn't changed, I remain a mom. While I have spent time out volunteering and sewing, a little bit of side work as a preschool teacher and a few other odd jobs, I haven't committed myself to anything because of the children. In someways I have lost the definition of myself. The girl that graduated college in 3 years..because she was driven and more importantly motivated somehow morphed into someone I don't recognize.
All of this leads to a great deal of change and anxiety. Of course this economy is not conducive to taking my time and or my choice of career paths. Going back to school full time to pursue something I might like seems duly daunting. And so here I am realizing...its not only time to turn the page but probably time for a new book. My husband supporting me as I take each new step. My children needing a new role model for what their future may be.
All of this being said, I wanted to take time to express my absolute gratitude to all of you who have supported me over the past two years. Your gentle words and packages in the mail have provided such sweet memories and kindness. I am truly thankful.
On Monday, I open up the new book that has been placed before me and start training to become a medical assistant. Three full months of classroom work and study. Something I haven't done in years. To be fair, I am more than a little afraid but I am excited to be getting out of the old and learning to embrace the new.
I know it is always a little bit sad when I finish a book, fear of missing time spent with the characters, but it is just as exciting to find another book and begin a new journey.
Thank you for this journey.