Wednesday, June 12, 2013

You can find the daises

I watched a little girl at the pool today with a miniature bag of m and m's. She devoured them as if the bottom of the bag had a treasure chest in it. Each one eaten faster than the color could be decided. Once she was done she joyfully hopped up and handed the bag to her grandmother. No disappointment or frown. Simply, pure enjoyment.

I wonder what my life would be like if I had devoured each day like this little girl.  Would everything have been rosy?  With a sweet smell that lingered?

Sadly, the last few months have been a mountainous climb full of disappointment, tears, and too many changes to list. Almost like a seed packet, neatly packed tight.  Someone emptied us into the soil and out of what we new only as home.

Our manicured home has become a new "different". A full time job, a divorce, and an uncertain future have caused me to humble myself and find guidance and friendship where I never knew it existed.

You can find me in the daisies at our local garden center. Capturing pictures of the latest farm fresh arrivals. Each person I work with more deserving than the last. A new family to hold my hand, show me my backbone and a solid future with which to plan on.

During the early months we sat wistfully and cried together and this day never seemed possible but just like Spring arrives every year, we too have blossomed into a family of four. Tighter than a bud in bloom.

Our once familiar home became a shell until we broke open the door one day lately and embraced the future we (me and the three kids) will share. 

New spaces for "my" mending within steps of the door I swing through each night.

Old faces revisited and newly placed. 

Friends who have been dear reminding me that strength is from within.

Thank you for all your kind words and sweet notes, sometimes weekly. 

I have learned some very important things in the past few months.
1. Nursing wasn't for me.
2. Trust can always be broken.
3. Friends are priceless.
4. Children are the best gift ever.
5. Follow your heart...mine lead me back to the garden. 
most importantly
DEVOUR each day like there is treasure at the bottom.

 I will keep you updated as to how my room works out. Thank you for all your kind words and sweet notes, sometimes weekly they have been my treasure. 
With my new work schedule post might only be monthly but I assure you it feels good to be where I am right the daisies.


LeAnne said...

I have been in your shoes (only one baby, though, not three)...and each day you heal a little more. It is a NEW reality and the Lord will give you strength.

Unknown said...

So glad to hear from you! I've thought about you often and wondered how you were doing...... It sounds like you and your kids are hanging in there, finding yourselves. Regardless of how often you post we all would love to hear from you! Sending hugs! Enjoy the daisies!

Tammy's in Love said...

Oh beloved girlfriend! I'm so happy to see you back here. Your pictures of the flowers are so pretty and the healing found in a garden... well, that's a great place to be!

GardenOfDaisies said...

So glad to see you posting on here again, Renee! Change can be so hard. But it's the only way to move forward, to find the happiness that is waiting just ahead. And I can't think of a better place to be, at present, than among the daisies. :-) Hugs.

Erica of Golden Egg Vintage said...

My heart skipped a beat when I saw that you posted! So happy to hear an update from you! I'm always hoping that (even though you aren't commenting), you're taking some time to blog hop and see what's going on...some time for yourself to just enjoy reading! Not that you don't have more important things on your mind.
I'm sorry that these past months have been so hard. Hopefully there are wonderful times ahead, and you've gotten through the worst of it!
Keep us updated,
Erica :) said...

I've missed you, Renee. Decided to click on your blog this morning, wondering how you are and if you'd posted anything lately. Happy to hear from you. I think about your new life now and always wish you strength and serenity. You are going to be OK:)

Musings from Kim K. said...

I'm so proud of you. Your strength never ceasing to amaze. I'm so glad your job provides joy. May you and your children continue to find peace in your new family routines. Bless you, Renee.

LBP said...

Oh Renee...It is so good to hear from you. You have been on my mind so much. I am so sorry for all that you have been through..sometimes we don't know how tough we are until that is our only option. I am glad you are among the daisies...what a great place to be.



vivian said...

oh my lovey!! so sorry youve had to struggle over these past few months. And so happy that you are finding your way out of the dreary sadness and into the garden of sweet scented sunshine and hope. I have missed you here. I hope you post more often. remember, we are your friends and we are here for you too.
much love and hugs to you! Thank God for the springs that come into our lives.. bringing us fresh and different perspectives on our days in this world.

Scrap for Joy said...

I was so happy to see a new blog post listed in my blog roll this morning. Finding a "new normal" is a challenge. I was a single parent twice, once due to divorce and once because of widowhood. It's a struggle to return to work after a long absence but if you find something you enjoy working makes the struggle a little easier to bear. It sounds like you have a pleasant place to work surrounded by beauty. I just read a quote today, "how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." Life is like that, too.
Welcome back my friend. Your blogging friends are all holding out arms for virtual hugging!! You are going to be OK.

Kathy said...

HooRAY! I am so, so happy to hear you so hopeful and looking forward to the future. I am sure that finding your new normal was a huge challenge but your inner strength came through. BTW, one of my favorite quotes is "You can bury and lot of troubles while digging in the dirt."
Hugs and more hugs!

Anonymous said...

So happy to hear from you, Renee!!!! I have been praying for you and I will continue to as well.

I truly believe God placed healing in nature. There have been times that I couldn't cry until I was outside and someplace beautiful. It's the reason that The Secret Garden is one of my favorite children's books.

I just bought some Shasta daisies off the clearance rack at Walmart and I'm going to plant them in front of my porch! :) I've *always* loved daisies but this will be my first time to plant them...

God bless you dear Renee! ♥

~Damita's Pretty Wrap~ said...

Hi Renee! I was so excited to see you posted and immediately clicked on it! Your pictures are so pretty, out in the garden is a great place to be! I feel like my heart is heavy for you, I'm sorry to hear the last few months have been so hard for you. I'm wishing you the very best and hopefully a lot of happiness to come! Hoping to hear again from you sometime soon! Enjoy your daisies! Sending hugs, xo Holly

Sarah and Jack said...

Well, Kim said it better than I ever could, but I will add I know you can do it. Keep hanging tough mama, brighter days always find their way to us.

ImagiMeri said...

Ah pretty lady, you are growing, just like your beloved flowers. You are right where you are supposed to be and with all the right elements you will grow stronger.

Love ya'

fee @ chipper nelly said...

sooooo lovely to see a post from you lovely lady - and glad to hear you are slowly healing after your troublesome few months. I know lots of people find being in the garden a solace and space to sort the old head out... I wish you peace and happiness for the coming few months, your family too.
love fee x

Heidi said...

I'm so glad you posted. Like others, I have been thinking about you and hoping things were getting better. Isn't it amazing how God works? I'm glad you've found a place and are working on finding peace. May you continue to feel His hand guiding your life and giving you comfort.

Unknown said...

I am SO GLAD to see you are on the other side of the storm! I have missed you terribly my friend and I am so glad that you are finding your way....:) Love and Hugs,

Into Vintage said...

Hello Renee! So happy to see this post and learn that you and your kids are working through this and finding your way together. I think of you often and wish you a world of happiness. You are my inspiration. xo


Hello Dear Renee!

I'm so happy that you posted! I know there has been A LOT of CHANGES...and I'm happy that you moving forward!
Looking forward to your monthly post and seeing your new home!
Take care!

TerriSue said...

Dear Renee,
The last I had heard you were back together and "trying". I am so sorry it did not work out. I remember what my mother went through when she and my dad got divorced. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. My heart goes out to you having seen it from an 18 yr olds eyes. I'm 55 now but all I have to do is close my eyes and I can feel my mother's pain. She probably shared more with me because of my age and the fact that we were best friends. Daisies are the friendliest flower, don't you think?

laurie -magpie ethel said...

You always bring a smile to my face with a post or a comment. You are a gem of friend..truly. Daisies, love and your children...your life is marching forward and you are doing it!! Xo.

Patty said...

I am so happy you are becoming you again. I have had so many friends lately become single. You are in my thoughts, and will be here next time. Hugs to you and the family.

schmidt1016 said...

It's so heartening to hear you speak of overcoming your devastating situation. I'm encouraged for you. I've been on the child's side of this, and my heart goes out to your kids, too. My own devastation was nearly 10 years ago when my youngest child died at the age of 23. A divorce is similar to a death, because you've lost something so precious to you. I'm sure working in among the beautiful flowers is very uplifting. And your photos are gorgeous.


farmhousequilter8 said...

Good to see you are back!
Paula in KY

Amy, a redeemed sheep said...

Thinking of you....

vintage grey said...

So,so happy to see you back my sweet friend!! I have missed you so!! What a pretty place to work and I am already loving your new place to mend all your gorgeous creations. God is so good and will keep you strong through this all! You are always in my prayers! Wishing you a beautiful week Renee! Love you lots! xo Heather

CoriLynn said...

Hello! I discovered your blog awhile back and have been awaiting new posts anxiously. I've been in a similar situation and remember all that fresh and wounding pain; but as you discover TRUE friends and those who really love you, things do get better.
I was so excited to see your name pop up on my blog roll. Thank you so for sharing.
~xoxo, CoriLynn

Donna said...

I was so happy to open my email and find you there this morning:-)
You have been thought of and missed
while you were away from the blog world. I am so sorry that things didn't work out as you had hoped, but having a strong, happy family of four is a wonderful thing!
Looking forward to hearing from you when you find the time to post
and wishing you much happiness in your new job and new home!
xoxoxo, ~Donna

donna said...

Renee it is so good to hear from you. I think of you often. I am so happy you are doing something you love.
Much love

Sewn With Grace said...

My heart started to happy dance when I saw a new post from you! So glad to read that you are finding your way through to happy times. Picturing you in the flowers reminds me of the poem…one is nearer God's heart in a garden than anywhere else on earth. Sending hugs and encouragment!

craftyles said...

So happy you are back-even if only once in awhile. I hope your life is going better and you and your kids are adjusting. Hoping the next few months are easier. Hang in there!

Patti said...

It is so good to hear from you. It is true, friendships do bring lots of healing. You are so loved, Dear Renee, and missed. I am very happy to hear from you. Blessings to you, day by day.

Blessed Serendipity said...

Daisies are one of my very favorite flowers. They are lovely. The thing about daisies are they are perennials. They come back year after year. They seem even more beautiful with each passing year. You will get through this and you will find your joy again. I am so happy to see you posting again. I have missed you.


2daisies said...

I've been checking your blog every few days just to see if you decided to come back.Yours was always one of my favorites to follow.I was very surprised and happy to see a new post from you! Nothing like looking at daisies to lift your spirits!
Best Wishes to you and your family!

Sally Annie Magundy said...

I was so thrilled to see a new post from you on my blog roll Renee! So nice to see you back and hear your news. Sending you lots and lots of hugs. Divorce is so very hard! I felt like I didn't know who I was or who to be, or become. I didn't have a career and had to find one to support myself. I sobbed and sobbed and was terrified daily. Slowly healing came and the sun broke through. I liked where I was. Thinking of you, wishing you and your kids, every happiness in your new normal.


Unknown said...

Hi.........Just wanted to let you know that I'm having a giveaway hosted by Koralee of "Bluebird Notes" Blog for a gift certificate to my new Etsy Shop named: Daisy Pink Wish .....if you have time please check it out....would love to see you enter :)
Lots of cute photos by the way!

Fran said...

I just checked into blogger and was so happy to see your post. I have been thinking of you and am so sorry for all that you have been through. I hope the worst is behind you and I wish for you and your children lots of happy times and brighter days. (((hugs)))

Lynn said...

Hi Renee,
So good tto see you post again! I admire your strength and courage as you travel the new roadways in your life. I think of you often and always say a prayer when God places your name in my mind and in my heart.

I was wondering if you received a small package from me that had this cute litle sewing theme mini
Shelf that has little drawers, pegs, and I think it had a small pin cushion on it. I saw that in an antique store about a hour from our home. When I saw it, I thought of you and I hope it arrived and hope you like it.
Lynn S from Life on the wienee ranch blog

Free Pretty Things For You said...

Missing you.. my heart leaped when i finally saw this :)

janice15 said...

I have missed visiting with you I have had so much going on barely just get my post out.. and not much visiting.. Your rack of seed packets reminds me of the one here in San Francisco at the Flowercraft store.. The Garden has always been my healing place to help me think and make decisions there is a peace and calmness there. Life is difficult and things are ruff my daughter keeps moving in and out on me.. like about five times already and she left me this time with this your a disgrace to all mothers at least the good ones. and I almost nearly died those words devastated me even though I know I'm not.. but out into the Garden I went thinking and praying .. Trust in the Lord and he will help direct you.. much love to you and your boys. Glad your back too I have missed your sweet post.. with love Janice Happy Monday

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

hello renee,

gosh, I hadn't checked in for awhile and last i had heard about your relationship was some time back, but i thought things had worked themselves out. i am so very, very sorry to hear about the path in life you are walking and your children. may GOD be there for you in strength and perseverance. sometimes life seems so unfair, huh? if ever you need to talk, i am here for you. email me and i will give you my number to call, if you would like. an ear to bend with no knowledge of what is going on can be healthy. i can be your shoulder, if you will.

sending much love,


Unknown said...

Dearest Renee, Your new steps will grow more confident with each day that passes. Your children will come to marvel your bravery and love you all the more. And most importantly you will find your heart will open to the possibility of finding love again. You are just that special of a person.
Thinking of you, Elizabeth

Unknown said...

I JUST found you through a pin someone else had. I do hope that you continue your blog -- I have shared it with two other women that love the vintage goodies, as much as I do. Wishing you happiness and success!

Corey said...

Oh, Renee! I'm just now seeing that you posted! (I still check my blogs "manually" vs. using a reader) It's so nice to hear from you- I've thought about you often. I'm so sorry to hear about the last few months and the changes they've brought, but it sounds like you are in a wonderful frame of mind about things. I hope you will be posting a bit more so we can hear how you're doing. Hugs and prayers to you!

Mecky said...

Thinking of you today! I hope you are doing well. I miss you!

YamYam said...

Evrything will be right,im sure.You will grow with your exercises...
I lost my 1.husband when I was 23years old with my 3little boys-he decited going to live with a new woman(please Lord forgive me I hate her) but life is changing und my sons und my daughter living together with my husband who is more father and friend. Be yourself and love the chance to do evrything you like!please excuse my schoolenglish. Ines